A lot of things have happened.... a lot.
As a lot of my life is transitioning more to India and less in Nepal, its getting harder and harder for me to be a transnational single parent... and likewise, the age of my kids approaching more of an adult state, and me not being their biological parent has changed a lot of things in the everyday dynamic of our relationship. All of things paired with adolescence, need for more discipline, structure, etc have been lurking in my mind for the last six months... but to be honest I didn't know how to change things or more so, I had a fear of doing so.
I guess when we are in these positions a lot of time God "closes a door and opens a new one" as the cliche saying goes. 8 days ago my landlord abruptly told us that we had to move as some relatives of hers were coming back from years abroad in Hong Kong and now wanted to live in our flat. We don't have a leave agreement, so she does have the power to kick us out with less than two week's notice.
Like most cities it's impossible to find a flat in such a time frame... especially when toting around a handful of ex street kids.
I spent a lot of time in prayer about what to do... what's best for them... what's feasible for them... etc etc.. and decided to make different decisions for each of my kids.
So as follows...
Dorje & Arjun.... Arjun's been getting into so much trouble as of late it's not even funny. Drunkenness, crashing cars (did I mention that this kid does not have a license?), shouting at every kid in our house except for Dorje etc.. Dorje is pretty well together... so I've decided to send both of them to a boarding school in Leknath, about 40 kilometres outside of Pokhara in a very serene environment in the midst of a lot of rice paddies and hills. I think the nature will be good for Arjun... as will the discipline. He thinks so too.. bc even tho he's been disobedient, he still wants to be different.. he just is dealing with all that adolescent angst mixed in with life confusion/revelations and doesn't really know how to direct himself. But to be honest, despite recent behavioral problems, I truly have hope in Arjun... I know that with a little more love and a lot more guidance he will grow up to be someone that really makes us proud.
Dorje is really super excited to go to this school as he has wanted to be in boarding school for the last two years... He's not a very expressive guy, but this week he's been jumping off the walls.. thanking me daily for letting him go there... I think right now he really has a value for education... which is good...
Khalay & Bibek....will join another boarding school in Pokhara. This school offers a lot of 'after school' classes that will enable them to catch up and get more on track in their studies. Khalay is a very influential person in Bibek's growth.... and it's important for the two of them to remain together.
Soraj & San Soraj.... my two working boys... will continue in their job... and for the next few weeks while we look for a room for the two to share will stay with Soraj's family. This is the first time Soraj has stayed with his family in more than 7 years. It will be very hard for him, but also good. and hopefully a time for family healing... We will look for a single room (nepal's version of a studio apartment i suppose!) for the two of them that we'll take up for rent... For a point of clarification, the two boys do not earn nearly enough money to actually sustain their lives... in a way this is modern day slavery in Nepal...because a monthly salary for the boys is less than the monthly expenses I have for each boy in food - and we eat very simple food. Thus, they still need economic support for at least the next three-four years until they advance in their jobs... Also, Soraj will take up a computer class to continue some form of education and San Soraj may take up a technical course to help him in his auto mechanic job.
Gopal.... has gone home to his village in Ithari, the far region of Nepal.... he should be joining a school there... living with his family and rebuilding those relationships again.
So to say the least, this is a very transitional time in our lives. These boys have been living together for more than 5 years... actually more like 7 if we count their lives on the streets. Although it hasn't really sunk in, I know it will soon... and all of us (probably most of all me) will have an emotional week to say the least. It's the closing of one chapter in our lives... but definitely not the end of our lives together...
All this moving and changing schools actually costs a lot of money... I have to buy all new bedding, uniforms, books, individual things for all the boys that were previously shared household items (towels, toiletries, etc)... not to mention "new student enrollment fees"...
As always I appreciate the support that you have given my boys and me over the years... and hope that you continue to do so as boarding school & hostel expense will actually be quite a bit more... but we are trusting in faith that everything will work out as I really see no other option for them at this point. Over the last five years of my life, there hasn't been a stress-free financial moment regarding their needs, but a few years back I started to realise that worrying never helps anything and at the end of the day they are God's children and not mine... so if it shall be, He will work it out.
Most of you already know the routine... tax deductible donations made to the following:
Hines Foundation
2500 Dallas Pkwy, Suite 260
Dallas, TX 75093
love you all always.
posted by the girl in asia at 7:28 PM
0 comments
